Poker
by XeniaKunoichi
Summary: One day, Team Seven gets bored and Kakashi decides to teach them how to play poker…  Naturally, all hell breaks loose.  Slight SasuSaku. OOCness. ONESHOT. Rated T for adult themes


**Summary:** One day, Team Seven gets bored and Kakashi decides to teach them how to play poker…Naturally, all hell breaks loose. Slight SasuSaku. OOCness.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto…or things would end up like some twisted fanfic *evil laugh*

* * *

"Do any of you know how to play poker?"

The three young teens looked at their sensei with varying levels of scorn, disbelief, and boredom.

"Kakashi-sensei, I really don't think you should teach us something like that," Sakura said cautiously.

**Hell yeah, it is!** Inner Sakura protested.

The white-haired man rolled his visible eye. "Like you aren't as bored as the rest of us."

"I can go find something else to do," she said offhandedly. "It's _them_ I'm worried about."

"Sakura-chan, what did I do?" Naruto complained loudly. "It's the teme that causes all the problems."

"Pfft. Yeah, right, dobe," Sasuke scoffed. A heated glaring match immediately followed. Sakura looked at Kakashi as if to say '_that's__ what I meant_'

"Well, then this is the perfect time to get working on cooperation skills," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Kami-sama knows how much they need them. And it'll just be between us, what others don't know won't hurt them. And it's only one game, you won't get addicted."

Try as she might, Sakura couldn't think of another good excuse.

"Fine," she finally sighed. "Where and when?"

"Sasuke's house at seven." Kakashi grinned. "Bring lots of money." He vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Hey, where'd Kakashi-sensei go?"

"Naruto, weren't you paying attention?"

"…"

"Sasuke-kun was, right?"

"…"

"…Right?"

"…"

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

Surprisingly, Sasuke hadn't objected when he'd learned they would be playing poker at his house. It wasn't like there was any other option, though. They obviously couldn't do it in public or at another team's house, Naruto's and Kakashi's apartment were both far too small, Sakura's parents were civilians and therefore unlikely to approve, and that left only Sasuke. But as Sakura and Naruto walked into the compound, neither could hold in a shiver at the knowledge of what happened here when they were just starting at the Academy. Kakashi was probably banking on that little fact to scare them, too.

"Are you all ready?" Kakashi asked suddenly, walking out from the shadows, giving the already creeped-out teens a horrible scare. Sasuke, naturally, was unfazed.

"Don't do that, dammit!" Sakura snapped at him. When she saw the weird looks her team was giving her, she said defensively, "What? He needs to hear it."

"Sure, Sakura…" Naruto said, suddenly rethinking his feelings for the violent tempered girl.

"Let's just go play already," Sasuke grumbled, opening the door to his house.

The four settled in the living room. "How much did each of you bring?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke got up to go get his gambling money, while Sakura responded, "Seventy ryo."

"Everything I had," Naruto said, emptying his frog wallet onto the floor next to him. "I didn't count."

"Of course you didn't," Kakashi sighed. "I have fifty ryo to gamble with and an additional fifty in case I run out."

"One hundred ryo," Sasuke said, returning with his part.

"Good," Kakashi said, nodding. "Now listen while I explain the rules…"

Five long minutes later, Kakashi cut the deck and dealt the cards. Sasuke smirked at his hand, Sakura frowned, Kakashi seemed to glare. Naruto merely looked lost. He tossed a handful of money in the middle, and Sasuke matched him. Kakashi and Sakura each put down ten ryo.

"Call," Sasuke said, placing his cards down so everyone could see. "Four of a kind."

Sakura threw down her cards in disgust and Kakashi groaned, folding as well.

As the Uchiha reached to collect his winnings, Naruto asked, "What about mine?" He showed everyone his cards. Sasuke froze, Kakashi stared, and Sakura outwardly gaped. In the blonde's hand was a Royal Flush-Ace, King, Queen, Jack, and Ten of diamonds.

"Naruto," Sakura said slowly, the first to compose herself. "You won. Weren't you paying attention?"

"But...my cards don't match," he said, sincerely confused.

"It doesn't matter," Kakashi said, pushing the pile of money towards him. "You get the pot."

And for the next two hours, that's how their game went, Naruto miraculously winning every round, Sasuke coming close, and Sakura and Kakashi marveling at the knucklehead's luck.

Once Sasuke was thoroughly cleaned out, he threw down his cards and leapt to his feet. "There's no way and idiot like him could win like that!" he said, pointing an accusing finger at Naruto. "He's counting the cards, or something!"

Sakura, who was the first to be cleaned out, checked. "No, he's not, Sasuke-kun. He's just lucky. Insanely lucky," she said wistfully, watching Naruto happily count his winnings.

"Get over yourself, teme," Naruto said with a smug grin at the furious Uchiha. "You can't win everything!"

"I'll kill you!" Sasuke snarled, lunging for the boy. It quickly turned into a fistfight, which Sakura was powerless to stop.

"Well, it seems that my work here is done," Kakashi said, quickly backing away.

"Don't run away, you coward!" Sakura snapped, reaching for him, but he had already vanished. She sighed, turning back to the boys. "Oi! Cut it out!" When neither responded, she flung a kunai at them.

"Augh!" Naruto screamed, clutching his arm. "Sakura-chan, you cut me!"

"Oh, please," she said wearily. "With your insane healing powers, I bet you're fine already."

"So…what now?" Sasuke asked.

An awkward silence descended upon the three.

"Strip poker?"

"Oh, hell no!"

"Sakura-chan, I was just kidding-_ow_, why'd you hit me?"

Sakura huffed, sitting down and crossing her arms determinedly in front of her chest. "I may be broke, but I still have my dignity. There is no way I am playing strip poker with you."

"Please, Sakura-chan?" Naruto begged. "I'll never ask you to do anything like this ever again! If you do, I'll give you fifty ryo and have Sasuke-teme kiss you!"

Silence.

"…What? What did I say?"

"You have got to be joking," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Naruto, why would you put Sasuke-kun on the spot like that?" Sakura asked, her voice slightly strangled.

**Say 'hell yeah!', damn you!**Inner Sakura screamed.

_Hell no, Inner._

"Because I want to keep playing," Naruto whined. "I'll pay Sasuke-teme too!"

The Uchiha and the Haruno glanced at each other. Then at Naruto. "No."

He sighed. "I didn't want to have do this, but… Puppy Eyes-no-jutsu!" There was a puff of smoke and the cutest puppy alive sat staring at them with huge blue eyes.

"Oh, Kami," Sakura gasped, immediately trapped in the cuteness. "Look away, Sasuke-kun, before-"

"Too late," Sasuke said, stricken. Usually, cute things didn't work on him.

But this puppy was pretty damn _cute_.

"Fine!" she finally blurted out. "I'll play the damn game."

"I'll kiss Sakura, okay?" Sasuke snapped.

Naruto reappeared, looking incredibly smug. After divvying out the appropriate amounts of money, Naruto sat back on his haunches, grinning. "All right you two," Naruto said, waving at them to go on. "Kiss away and let's get playing!"

Sakura gulped, shooting a glance at the impassive Sasuke. He stared back, his face blank. Inside, though, a small part of him was freaking out. This would _technichally _be his first kiss…with a girl. They leaned towards each other, eyes closed, until their lips met. Inner Sakura swooned, melting into a puddle of goo.

_His lips are really soft,_ Sakura thought, her head spinning.

_She tastes like strawberries, _the small part of Sasuke thought.

Naruto clapped. "All right, that's enough, time to play!"

No response.

The blonde stared at them. "Uh…Sasuke? Sakura?"

Still no response.

"…Teme? Sakura-chan?"

He still went ignored.

"Hello…?"

Sasuke tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Sakura leaned into him a little more.

"_OI!_ We don't have all night!"

The two abruptly pulled apart, both very red in the face. They glanced at each other, then quickly looked away.

Naruto rolled his eyes, dealing the cards. He grinned, holding out four kings. "Who has the next best hand?"

Sasuke showed three Jacks, and Sakura sighed. Placing her cards to one side, she reached down and removed…

...

...her shoe.

"Hey!" Naruto protested.

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura snapped, unable to control the blush spreading over her face. "It's an article of clothing!"

The next several rounds, Sasuke lost each time, and was forced to remove both his shoes, as well as his shirt and vest. Sakura succumbed to a fangirl moment, eyeing his perfectly toned chest.

But her luck ended there.

"Three of a kind," Naruto announced.

"Two of a kind," Sasuke said. They both looked at her, waiting for her reaction.

She threw down her cards in disgust.

"You have to take off your dress, Sakura," Naruto said, a little blood trickling down from his nose.

Sakura promptly whacked him on the head. Hard. "I know that, you little pervert." She quickly reached down-thank Kami Sasuke had the sense to look away-and pulled off her dress to reveal…

...

…another dress.

"Oh, come _on_," Naruto complained, only to receive another whack to the head.

"Shut up!" Sakura snapped, blushing furiously. "I had a feeling it might turn into something like this, so I dressed prepared."

"So you pulled a Kakashi-sensei on us?"

_Whack._

"Ow..."

"If either of you say _one word…_" She trailed off threateningly.

"G-Got it, Sakura-chan."

"…Whatever."

And so, for the next hour, Sakura watched in dismay as her luck slowly went down the drain. As it turned out, she had on twenty-three dresses, twenty pairs of green tights, ten _very_ long vests, and two pairs of black tights on.

_How_ she managed to wear them all without looking any different, they had no idea…

"Jeez, Sakura, did you put on your entire closet?" Naruto asked, seeing the rather large pile of clothes next to her.

She shivered slightly, being down to her last vest and pair of tights. "No, I did not. Just deal the next hand." Naruto obliged, and Sakura cast a withering look at her cards before throwing them down. "Just for the record," she growled, "I hate both of you."

"We know you do," Naruto said happily, showing three kings. Sasuke had a two of a kind.

Sakura glared at Naruto. _Don't make me do this_, she begged with her eyes.

"Sorry, Sakura," Naruto said with a grin. "You lost-"

A wicked grin spread across her face. "Who said I lost?" She grabbed her pile of clothes, her hands forming a teleportation jutsu. "And for the record, I am going to kill the both of you." She vanished with a smirk and a poof of smoke.

"What is she talking about, teme?" Naruto asked. "I had the best hand."

Ignoring the jibe, Sasuke flipped her cards over. His eyes widened. "Dobe…no, you didn't."

Staring triumphantly up at them were _four aces_ and a _king._

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"…She's totally going to kill us, isn't she?"

"…"

* * *

**Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming!**


End file.
